Unable to open an account. How does this company make money!?!

It's as simple as it can get. I want to open a new month-to-month smartinternet unlimited contract for my company.

I have talked with the online chat option that says I should call the mobile dept(081180) who says I need to call the business dept dept(10213), who says I need to call the home dept through the same number.

I decide to call a shop instead. Rosebank doesn't give me the option to talk directly to someone. Only other options of checking stock and following up on faults available which leaves you on hold indefinitely. Called the Cresta shop which just rings until it goes engaged. Drove to the Northgate shop who didn't know the deal existed and told me to call the call center. After checking with manager they said they do have it but couldn't agree on the files I need to bring to add the contract to my account!!!

Someone help me!