Telkom the shining lite, without batteries

Why don’t we have a zero or negative star rating option. Service from Eskom is bad, service from Post Office is bad, in fact all SOEs have a bad rap, but the bad service at all other SOEs seem like a drop in the ocean when you measure it against the terrible service Telkom puts forward as “customer service”

I gave Telkom notice on the 3rd of July (the 1st fell over a weekend). This after going to a Telkom shop to give notice only to be told that the pathetic Telkom service experience is so bad they don’t want to offer it at their shops so you can now only cancel your service online.

I advised that my service should be terminated the 3rd of August. I got a reference number (3 actually-landline, ADSL and data) and was notified that I will be contacted (sure). I phoned a couple of times to ask what was happening as the end of the month approached and got the preprogrammed response “we are working on it” which probably mean “we’ve put it in a file and if we can get to it again at some point we might look at it, but so don’t hold your breath” in Telkom translation.

On the 31st of July my services were cut/terminated. My DO for July went through on the 1st of August and I thought “at last the end”. But as should have been expected, that was not the end ...

I received another invoice, also marked as invoice for July. When I looked closer I saw the invoice R1070 was made up of 3 notification charges split between the 3 services cancelled. R1070 to cancel my services?!! I think not! I phoned and the lady that assisted me said “sorry it’s a system error, it generates it systematically” and that she would raise a ticket to have it resolved.

As expected, other than generating another reference number Telkom did not come back to me. I phoned 3 more times to try and get it resolved before the end of the month. Every time being told “they will attend to it, I will mark it as urgent, I’m escalating it” but no action.

Telkom ingenuously appends a random number on the DO so you cannot load a stop instruction as you need exact wording. The payment went through, but on my request the bank returned/reversed it. The very next day I got an SMS warning me to pay or face their wrath and they will have me black-listed.

I phoned and revoked my authorization for them to process Debit orders on my account. So now a new invoice rocks up with another R219 added for the failed payment. It would be funny if it wasn’t so frustrating.

Telkom, dear Telkom, the example of the ineptness of our beloved SOEs - I wish I knew some crude words to share with you, but I assume that is part of the dictionary of anticipated words you deal with on an hourly basis. Suffice it to say, our relationship has ended, face it, deal with it, get over me and move on, find someone else to ***** - I am done, will not pay for any more illicit services anymore, I fear being contaminated with some virus or disease.

Go deal with the complaint I logged in August, get yourself sorted and then phone me to apologize- I know, I know, you don’t call, except for unsolicited spam and sales calls.

Goodbye and good luck on your next relationship, shame I pity the next victim...