Never, Ever, Ever Use Telkom's Services

<p>As I write this, Telkom still owes me money. Not a large sum of money – I would not plan my retirement around it – but an important sum of money. Blood Money for the heinous crime committed against me: atrocious customer service.</p> <p><br />In early October 2016, my partner and I decided to relocate to the USA. We were concerned about the massive logistical nightmare of a move, the cultural differences and the challenge of assimilation, the uncer*****y of the visa application process, and what we were going to to do with our cat (as I write this, she is curled up under my bed harbouring a deep hatred for Denver weather). Little did we know that all if this will be dwarfed by the insurmountable challenge of cancelling our contract with Telkom.</p> <p><br />On 31 October 2016, I sent a completed contract cancellation form requesting the cancellation of my Telkom service to the only e-mail address where communication is printed and then hand-delivered in hard copy by the South African Post Office (that is the only explanation for the events that followed, at least if the Post Office was on strike for the latter half of 2016, which is plausible) – ********** The form stated that Telkom will cancel my contract with one calendar month’s notice. I did not receive any communication from them. Little did I know how fami**** I was going to become with that in the months to come.</p> <p><br />On 28 November 2016, I tried calling their dreaded customer service line. After being coerced into listening not only to the appalling attempt at music they play to placate enraged customers, but also them advertising even more services to me, I was told that my cancellation request had not been received, and asked to forward my request again. I did this. I then repeated this process on 2 December, 5 December, and 12 December. No cancellation was approved. In the interest of honest reporting (although I feel like exaggerating the lunacy of the situation, there really is no need) - there was one call where I was told the delay of my cancellation had something to do with Afrihost, and I called Afrihost who resolved the issue on the very same day.</p> <p><br />On 4 January, after adding “cancel contract with Telkom” to my new year’s resolutions, fully aware of the fact that somehow, I usually had more transcendental objectives for my life, I called again. This time I was asked to forward my cancellation of service request to a Telkom operator (an actual person). I did this and received no response. This process was repeated several times.</p> <p><br />During this time, I was of course billed at the end of every month. In January, Telkom double billed me. They corrected the mistake, which should have made me feel better. For some reason, it did not. Early in January, I (at long last) received notice that my Telkom contract has been cancelled. At the start of February, they billed me again. Up to this point, I had spent a considerable percentage of my life on the Telkom customer care line. I decided to speak to a real human being, and marched to my nearest Telkom shop. In the shop, they handed me their phone and dialed the customer care line.</p> <p><br />Somewhere during the course of February, I was successful in obtaining confirmation that Telkom will stop billing me, and that I will receive a statement with confirmation that Telkom owes me my deposit as well as the amounts billed after the contract should have been cancelled. I received that on 9 February 2017. Today is 29 March 2017, and I have not been paid the amount owed to me.</p> <p><br />During this time, I did move the the USA, and could not therefore spend as much time on the Telkom customer care line (as a side note, calling it a “care” line is cruel and unusual). I therefore decided to resort to communication over Facebook. I have sent 18 messages in total. My case has been referred to the billing accounts team, who referred it to the accounts team, who referred it to the credit management team, who referred it to the fixed line team, who referred it to the billing team, who requested that I send my banking details to them for purposes of payment. Somewhere in this process, someone suggested that the delay is due to my own failure to answer my (South African) cell phone. After which I (again) explained to Telkom that I have relocated to the USA - I have explained this to them more often than to my extended family and friends combined.</p> <p><br />This was a week ago. After sending my banking details, I requested an estimation of the time it would take to receive my money, to which Telkom responded: “Please note that we do not have an exact time frame”. The matter has, upon further inquiry, been referred to the support team.</p> <p><br />Perhaps the most infuriating thing is that Telkom still regularly sends me an email advertising their internet services. “If you are using mobile data at home, you are doing it wrong”. No Telkom. Firstly, I would rather give up all internet access and the 21st century itself before concluding a contract with you again. And secondly, YOU are doing it wrong. All of it.</p>