Fun in the Fruitcake Zone

I have now app**** eight times for Telkom's uncapped bandwidth R799-a-month ADSL deal. Each time I go through the process of applying, the vetting, the long phone call to give all my details yet again - and I am assured that everything will be processed within 48 hours. Nothing! This week I app**** again, and within an hour of applying my Telkom e-mail address of more than 20 years stopped working - no logging in, no e-mails received. My world comes crashing down! So I try the online chat - no I can't help you, can I help you with anything else? Then the phone calls to the euphemistically named helplines - go to sales, sales say technical, technical say sales -- round and round for two hours. Yesterday, I try the Telkom shop in Pmb - no, my e-mail definitely shows up as active, just go home and reset your password. So I try to reset the password - but of course it sends an OTP to an e-mail address that no longer works! Two more hours of phone calls - technical, no sales, push 1 then 2 then 3 and they will help you. Back to the shop for another two-hour wait where people in the queue are on the verge of coming to blows with each other. When I eventually get to the lady at the counter she is very nice and helpful but no help at all. She phones technical who say sales who say technical. Eventually David at technical swears he will sort it and phone me back. David, I am waiting! One the way home I get another phone call from a man who asks me the questions and swears he is going to activate my R799 deal within 48 hours…