RAIN 4G CELLULAR

“Storm, earth and fire! Heed my call! I am the son of the wind and rain.” – These words spoken of the almighty Tauren Chieftan of the popular fantasy video game Warcraft III are but a distant and unreachable boast of the power of rain to less popular, less fantastical Internet service provider that is Rain.co.za. Settle in and get comfortable as you read one of the most important reviews you ought to come across in your journey to find the right Internet package for you. It began for me as it has probably for many of you: I was satisfied, ney, content, with my ISP. Good stability, decent speed, what more could you ask for? That, my friends, is not a rhetorical question. For context, you are reading this review because you are in the cut-throat and oppressive market of cellular coverage Internet (i.e. 3G/4G/5G). And as such, the very thing you could always for more of is data. That sweet, ethereal gold that, if you had more of, you could download your updates, stream Netflix decently, play you high-spec video games online – and all at once! So I was, like you most likely are, looking for a deal – THE DEAL – the ISP deal that could make that irresistible answer to that insatiable question a reality: More data, less bucks. And so you most likely found Rain. Let’s start with the website: wow – they’ve really jack things up here! Impact (but not harsh) colour-schemes, slick animations, clear, visible writing, and a minimalist feel. Best of all, you saw what you were looking for...what you were searching for...your precious, precious deal. R479 for 4G UUUNNNNLIIIIIMMMMIIIITTTTEEEED DDDDAAAAATTTTAAAA. The deal was found. I quickly looked around to the other competitors’ deals, and alas, this was by-far unbeatable (or was it?) Now they do state that it will be “up to 10mb/s”. But why on God’s green earth would you suspect that, on a 4G network, 10mb/s is unachievable? “I’ve lived here for years...” you’ll say to yourself, “I’ve had 25mb/s almost all the time with MTN/Vodacom/etc” you’ll continue. So I sealed the deal, and in a few short moments, I paid and was awaiting the Sim card to come in the mail. To my delight, it came within a few short days. No instructions in the package? No problem, I’m relatively tech-savvy. I’ll just pop it in my 4G router and see what happens. Oh dear – it’s not working. I search the parcel again for some guidance, nothing; their website, nothing; any and all correspondence I’ve had with them – nothing?! Apparently the lack of instructions is the first ring of the proverbial hell that is Rain’s service delivery. Could be worse – With a quick Youtube guide I was back on track. All I had to do was type 10.0.0.2, figure out that the router’s password and username is “admin”; go to settings, change my Wi-Fi security setting from WPA/WPA2-PSK to WPA2-PSK toggle on and off my VoLTE, adjust my DHCP IP range to 192.168.8.100-200 – easy-peasy. Why would anyone need a guide to do that? Its so obvious... Finally after a few router resets, we had lift off! I was connected. (or was I?) I wasn’t ‘connected’ to the Internet, so much as I was rather ‘holding on’ the way George Cloony held on in “Gravity”. I did what anybody would do: bookmarks>Google.com. “What on earth was happening?” I thought to myself – after literally 5 microwave minutes of waiting for Google.com to load! I then did the next normal and completely sane thing and typed “speed test” in Google. This was obviously not a sane thing to ask of Rain’s bandwidth. Another 10 minutes later and after three further extensions to the COVID regulations, Google fetched my search results. Then I did something which Rain thought was completely unreasonable and very much insane – I dared to click “Test”. And so I was immediately boot-kicked by Rain deeper into their circles of hell. Finally, in the year of our Lord Two Thousand Four Hundred and Seventy-Seven (basically a million years later), I got a reading – ONE reading – on my speed after 15 attempts where the served had timed out. Oh how pitiful the sight. 0.01mb/s. Need I say more? So here I am, typing this review on Word because I now live in fear of my Internet browser. And I shall copy-paste this into every possible review platform to send a warning to you all: Do not be too unsatisfied in this life. Do not wish for more data. Accept that South African ISPs will be harsh, but if you do find one that can deliver, hold onto them. Stay with them. Embrace them in the night and whisper in their ears, “Rain is ***. Thank you for being there – I will not take your night-owl extra data for granted.” Go forth and live in hope of a new in South Africa where data floweth freely and connection is stable. Pray for such days. For at the moment, we live in a lackluster time, where no one, no one, has blessed the Rain down in Africa.