Regret Doesn't Even Begin To Describe How I Feel

It all makes sense.

This joke of a company has been in business for over 12 years but their Average Rating is under 3 (below average), their Trust Index is a measly 5, and I'm shocked Net Promotor Scores can be in the negative (it's an eye-watering -16, by the way. HelloPeter doesn't recommend them. To top off the horror: they have 160 ratings on HelloPeter. 52% of which are 1 star - very generous if you ask me!

Giving 1 star feels like perpetually removing a hernia. If I could, I'd take away stars! You're better off taking your chances wrestling Freddy Krueger on a Friday evening than surviving the horror and chaos these amateurs bring into your home. Be warned!

Their internet connectivity is half decent. They have regular outages but will seldom bother to inform you. Speed varies. You pay for a 100 Mbps line that often doesn't cross the 50 Mbps mark on a web speed test. That I can stomach. Dealing with their Customer Service department, however, is an experience Pazuzu Algarad himself would beg for mercy from and ask for repentance.

Excruciating doesn't even begin to describe my experience with "consultants" in their Accounts department. Firstly, they cut off my internet. I called them to find out why my line had been discontinued only to find that these rookies debited the incorrect account! In the most condescending, falutin Verwoerd tone, what sounded like a middle-aged man called Reynard exclaimed: "No payment, No internet!" then proceeded to hang up in my ear. I called back and gave him a good piece of my mind and then requested, in writing, that they terminate my agreement with them as a client. Did this man not continuously harass me, calling me and begging that I "give him another chance"? I blocked the phone number to safeguard my mental health. Only for them to muster the audacity to continue debiting me - for another year!

Now, a year later, I am served with a mountain-sized bill. Enter Simone, The ***ardly Lion. This inept excuse for a professional gave me a flimsy excuse as to why I was served a bill for a service I had not been using for months and even rubbed together two marbles to spark the bravery to confirm that I am essentially paying for... nothing. They discontinued their internet months earlier, in less than a month, but continued to bill me. She plucked a page from her proletarian colleagues' page and hung up the phone in my ear when I told her I would not be paying the bill.

These pitiful "consultants" are in desperate need of training. I lodged a straight-to-the-top escalation and I am keen to hear what the leaders in this organization have to say on this matter. Further, I am leaving this review on a public platform and commit to keeping this thread updated for the public to see.

It happened once, and I essentially let it slide. I refuse to let anyone, let alone a "consultant" from Clear Access, speak to me like they're doing me a favor. Not in any multiverse does a Pepe Le Pew, who crawls out the fringes of society every morning, to go labor for a subpar organization get to talk to me in that manner.

I'll end my review by saying I am disgusted and beyond disgruntled. Given the option to, I'd rather chew on raw denim before recommending this service provider to anyone. They'd be the last ISP left on the planet and I'd opt to communicate through Morse Telegraph.

Sign up for them at your own risk, unless you have a humiliation kink.