Vodacom wake up - you are ****ing me

I am now at a point of no return with Vodacom. Sadly, my husband passed away last year, leaving me and our two teenage daughters devastated andheartbroken - but still trying to find our way through endless paperwork. I needed to alert Vodacom to the fact that my husband- the primary holder of the cellphone account- that his debit orders would not happen as the bank accounts were frozen. In the first week of May I dutifully phoned the service number and spoke to an assistant. As soon as I mentioned my husband had passed away the assistant told me that the call is recorded and, because I had told him that my husband had died, all our phones ( our two teenage daughters had both left home to study for their first year at Stellenbosch university) would immediately be frozen. I was mortified because I hadn't even had a chance to warn our girls. That done I then proceeded with the 16 different required papers needed for a account transfer , to the nearest branch - Rivonia ( Old Mutual square). Even more disturbing news was then told to me -( still the first week of May ) that it would take 5-7 working days. We had just lost an important member of our family and we were separated and couldn't even speak to each other - but obviously it had to be done their way. After 7 days I went back into the Rivonia branch to check. There was still no advancement - 2 weeks later - still nothing ! - after a month , I found a friend with a Vodacom connection in management and somehow things started happening and by the 22nd of June( !!! )we finally got our cellphones switched back on. I thought this was the end of it as all the paperwork had been completed and debit order permission given etc. Then mid October I start receiving sms about closing this account - by now Vodacom Rivonia has closed down and disappeared - for obvious reasons. I then got in touch with the number in the sms and was given a referance number connected to the problem- after 3 days a message came back saying this ref no had been closed and sorted. I assumed that meant it was all fine. Not so. We were once again cut off. I went into branches in Sandton, Sunninghill, Waterfall, Mall of Africa, I phoned endless times on the toll free, I sent emails, I was directed from deceased department to accounts - everywhere - every time I was given a ref no and 3 days later the ref no was then closed and sorted - but nothing ever happened. Until finally,somehow, someone found I owed money. This is now at the end of November .!!!!! R18 000 ! How could this happen ? There was a monthly debit order in place (6mths atR3000) but "somehow Rivonia never initiated this". Please God that no one has to lose a family member, I was only keeping my head above water with all the paperwork involved , I had not thought it necessary to check my debit orders to make sure that Vodacom was doing what it had been instructed to do in the beginning of May already. Now their stupidity and lack of any s****s whatsoever, was causing me insurmountable stress when I was barely coping as it was. I have since paid the excessive amount - but what has happened - nothing. Phone calls , emails , requests- nothing is done. We haven't had access to phone calls etc since the 19th of October. I challenge anyone - not just those going through emotionally difficult times, to try this out. I have been beyond patient and cannot think how else to get out of this pit. Vodacom has really disappointed me and I feel utterly gutted by their lack of assistance or empathy. I even had an assistant at the Sunninghill branch email the Vodacom desk and phone(but he couldn't get through). What do I need to do to get help?