Dear Vodacom, please read this. Make it a memo.

*Please note that this is mainly focussed on Vodacom, but also inclusive of their various collecting and accounts partners*

It took all the will power I could muster not to swear the whole way through, but this is a ****show.

In order to sum up the absolute horror that i had experienced over the last 18 months, I unfortunately have to break this story up into parts as every player in this needs to be addressed separately.

Taking you back to 2015, I opened up an account with Vodacom, just like millions of other South Africans expecting the countries "leading Cellular Network" to deliver on the promises they make on a daily basis. At first, all was well. Didn't last very long though as very soon after the initial honeymoon period, (i'd say about three months in total) I noticed that my R500 "Anytime Airtime" would last give or take 4 days from the beginning of the month, every month, and then ******. Gone.

As far as my monthly Data Bundle was concerned, 1GB (One Gig) would last a whopping 2.5 days. Which is quite something seeing as I had wifi at work (took up anywhere from 6 - 16 hours of my day depending on the day) and I had Wifi at home.

After noticing this a few months consecutively, I called customer care as one would and got ALL the sch****, contact person(s) and reference numbers. Alas, no solution nor apology and rectification.

In lieu of many complaints being launched from my side and no reply nor explanations from Vodacom, I (being a smart****) refused to pay my monthly bill. In writing and per telephone of course. I even asked for a copy of said "recorded" call for my personal records yet, well... I'm still waiting for it. My telephone number was disconnected and not a word from Vodacom since. In hindsight, this was definitely not the best way to go about it and it is noteworthy that I did make a few late payments. So I am not all innocent up to this part.

TWO YEARS LATER, I received and "Urgent Call" from Hammond Poole & Majola* It should be noted that an payment arrangement was made, but even though I expressly asked that I be kept in the loop as far as statements on this account was concerned, they probably had other people to bother on a weekly basis than live up to their part of the bargain.

Fast forward to 17 January 2019... Without notice, without warning, Vodacom went and retracted my account from the above mentioned debt sharks with a month and a half worth of payments to be made.

I was eventually contacted by Jacobs Burnard & Associates, where actually, a very helpful gent assisted me and I settled the outstanding amount after refusing to pay the extra interest and fees. A deal was made and paid. Strange thing though is that I still haven't received the promised letters and admissions of payments received as duly sworn and promised as soon as that payment reflects. Funny how these people are over eager to get a hold of you to pay and pay now, but as soon as you do, you pretty much have to like their ()*&(*^$#%^ to get what is rightfully owed back to you.

I HAD TO CALL PRETTY MUCH THE ENTIRE ****** VODACOM TO FIND OUT WHO I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DEALING WITH NOW AND WHY I STILL OWE THEM MONEY AFTER I WAS EXPRESSLY TOLD THAT COME JANUARY 2019, I WOULD BE DONE WITH THEM.

This process only took me two hours and i had NO answers whatsoever. Another fun thing to note is that if you're not a Vodacom subscriber, the number in question is not active on their network or have legitimate questions (seemingly) IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET THROUGH TO THE ACCOUNTS & COLLECTIONS DEPARTMENT. Don't even bother with trying their "Legal" department.

It's a sham.

All in, i sincerely want to THANK Vodacom in THE MOST SARCASTIC and DISGUSTED way writable, for absolutely *****ing my credit scores, leaving me in the lurch with debt collector after debt collector (for the same account, seeing as they can add extra interest this way. ******ion by definition) and in general wasting my time.

"S.A.'s Leading Cellular Network" should much rather focus on "Innovating" a transparent relationship with users and clients.

All this could've been avoided, by simply giving a me a damn call.

I am very sure that i am not the only one that has had this kind of experience. If you're reading this and you can relate, please say something.