TymeBank the most pathetic and useless bank.

TymeBank advertises on their website that it takes five minutes to open an account, yet it takes 27 days to close an account.

I instructed TymeBank to close my account in the beginning of April 2024.

On Friday 05 April 2024 I received the following from TymeBank:

1. A telephone call from a TymeBank representative who informed me that my account will be closed and that I must remember that I won't be able to open an TymeBank account again.

2. An SMS from TymeBank: “TymeBank: Your Close Account – Customer Initiated request has been received. It normally takes up to 10 days to close an account. Case ID CL-15341. Please keep an eye on your email for further communication. If you did not request this change, please contact: ***”

On Friday 12 April 2024 I received the following email from TymeBank:

“Your request for Close Account - Customer Initiated CL-15341 due to Dissatisfied with Bank Service has been received.

Kindly do the following before TymeBank completes the closure:

1. Close all your GoalSave accounts 2. Clear funds from your EveryDay account 3. Get copies of all your TymeBank Statements 4. Switch your Debit Orders to your alternate bank account 5. Destroy your card(s)

Please note that you have until 02-May-2024 01:59 PM to complete the above activities before we close your account(s). If you do not clear the funds from your account as per the specified time, we will proceed with closure of your account(s) and will place your funds in a secure account.

If you change your mind and do not wish to close your account(s), please inform us by 26-Apr-2024 01:59 PM.

For any queries, please contact TymeBank Customer Service Centre on ***.

You’ve got this! TymeBank Customer Service Team”

Five minutes to open an account and 27 days to close the account. What do they mean by “You've got this!” at the end of the email?

TymeBank really is the most pathetic and useless bank I've ever dealt with.