THEY RUINED STARWARS

My nightmare just became a reality. Let me take you on a trip. Imagine the excitment, nay, the absolute all consuming ecstaticness of a die hard #starwars fan who couldn't get to see the movie on opening night, finally making it to the cinema on a hot tuesday afternoon. Imagine getting through most of the movie, on the edge of your seat, character development questions on the tip of your tongue, anxiety sweats (spoilers forthcoming) as finn heads toward the battering cannon. and then... B L A C K S C R E E N. This can't be happening right? This is some big budget film experiment on sensory depravation right? Its part of the movie. Its illustrating the true heart stopping moments in acts of heroism? Right? Right?! Nope. The movie comes back on. Your heart jumps, so ready to forgive. ALAS the sound is now out of sync. Disgruntled stirring begins. A fit of giggles breaks out of you, the kind of giggles one might experience before a mass ****** streak you never remember. The kind you wake covered in blood from muttering "kylo...ren...". I digress. Someone stands up angrily and marches off. The rest of us are perservering. Theres a giggle when the brief accidental sync causes kylo ren to say a Leia line. Its short, hopeless. Have you ever heard a hopeless giggle? Its cold and chilling. I decide I've had enough. I engage my inner middleaged white woman and head for the manager. I should have known. THIS IS STARWARS *****. There's basically a riot outside already. A woman is crying. One guy is yelling "THE ONE MOVIE! THE ONE MOVIE YOU DON'T **** UP!!!". A man in glasses shakes his head. Angels weep. The manager looks terrified. This story doesn't have a happy ending. I go back to my seat, having decided that i trust my fellow angry nerds to handle this.They attempt to get it back, we rewind to the moment our dreams were crushed and they hit play. Only this time, theres no sound at all. In my head i just keep chanting "it'll be okay. It'll be okay." It wasn't okay. A man with a solemn voice breaks the news: we will not be seeing the end of this movie tonight. They hand out free tickets and that is all. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HEARTBREAK? WHAT ABOUT FINN? WHAT ABOUT THE POPCORN? WHAT ABOUT THE PAID PARKING? WHAT ABOUT THE PETROL IT TOOK TO GET THERE? WHAT ABOUT THE COST OF THE SLEEPING TABLETS I'LL NEED TO REST TONIGHT???? I NEED ANSWERS STERKINEKOR?????