Why am i still with standard (eff-u) bank?

<p>I have never in my life seen, heard of, or even imagined a more malodorous piece of steaming **** than this bank. Words fail me, and all that, is the faintest plattoonist shadow of a wall of what it is; in my heart, the ideal peeve - perfect in its sincerity, bottomless in it's depth and unassailable in it's accuracy.</p> <p> </p> <p>This parasitic, pestilent bank that feeds on it's customers like a vampire and claims to provide worldclass service? Don't make me laugh!</p> <p> </p> <p>For reasons that are beyond my understanding, I have spent the last week being charged for nonsensical **** and having debit orders bounce off. Vodacom (don't get me started with this **** storm) sent me a statment claiming I haven'tpaid them, when I clearly saw the debit order go off - sms confirmation... WAIT, WAIT - there's more. I look at my statement today and what do I get? YUP you guessed it - a big old "**** YOU!" from Standard bank, with my statement claiming some "RTD not paid" or something, stupid nonsense. Since, *****ing me wasn't enough, I get charged R115 for every bounced debit order - jesus, please arrive soon.</p> <p> </p> <p>My conclusion is malevolent. This bank's motto is obviously "We're Standard bank, and you, the customer, aren''t worth **** to us". It matters not one iota what their official motto is, watch the hands, not the mouth. Well, Standard Bank, your time will come. It may not be the other banks or the Public Protector, it may not be this decade, but you're going to go the way of the dodo, and I for one, will covort naked on your grave, ****ing effusively on your memory, and screaming; "RTD THIS, YOU *******S!" to the sky.</p> <p> </p> <p>But in the here and now, I shall close my account with the quiet dignity with which I have always comported myself, and then I shall swear a terrible oath that I would rather be impaled a thousand times over, before doing business with Standard Bank ever again!</p> <p> </p> <p>My sincerest thoughts,</p> <p>Siyanda</p> <p> </p>