Standard Bank, what is wrong with you?

Standard Bank, what is wrong with you? I get multiple daily phone calls on numbers like ********** 274 and ********** 412 from someone claiming to be from Standard Bank’s card division or “***** unit”. This despite my account and banking status all being in order.

Not only is the caller coy and deliberately incoherent about his/her identity and what the call is about (except that it is important), he/she always insists on first wanting to “confirm” personal details for “security purposes” before continuing…

Are you out of your mind? You harass me and expect me to divulge or confirm personal information over the phone, considering your “mumblese” and bad manners? Also, phone numbers in themselves prove nothing - especially when it is “call centre” numbers and there are no published formal record of them as to whom they actually belong to. With all the ****s going around (which, by the way, I am now seriously thinking, are all “inside jobs”) you can forget about only phoning being a good way to communicate with clients. Good for whom?

The fact that you can also recite some of my personal details means nothing. This could have been obtained in any number of ways so that still does not inspire any confidence in your bona fides.

What makes me doubly suspicious of your intent is that you BLATANTLY REFUSE to communicate anything whatsoever in writing. If something is allegedly so important, then why don’t you email me? You have my email address. (Or are you afraid that I will then have a record of communications and also being able to track who you really are?)

When I request that you communicate only in writing and yet you wilfully ignore this very valid and reasonable request, even cheekily responding with “we’ll just keep calling you”, then, GFY.