Standard Bank -sub standard service

I am boiling beyond explanation! Yesterday I had a debit order of R 260 odd returned for no apparent reason. I transferred money late afternoon in order for the debit order to be covered. This morning I woke to find the debit order was returned unpaid and I got slapped with R147 charge. I checked my accounts and found that the money I transferred yesterday between my Standard Bank accounts show as dated a day later! Then today I tried making an immediate payment and this is constantly blocked! I was on the phone for 40 minutes then gave up, I then phoned again and waited for an hour whilst the gentleman from ***** tried solving it and I must say both parties at Standard I talked to were trying really hard to resolve this issue. Lastly they said they would log a Service Request. I received an sms to confirm this with a resolution date of 09 July!

But wait there is more! I wanted to open another business account and the process started Friday the 19th June. They said a business banker would phone me on the Mon/Tues to complete everything. Well it is now the 30th June and nothing has happened. Obviously I am a small fish in the sea so I will just swim along with the current and disappear.