Standard Bank - It can be (much much better. It can't be worse)

I app**** for a business notice account with Standard Bank over 10 weeks ago and am still waiting. I've spoken to many, many, many apologetic staff and yet nothing is done. Nobody seems to know what the processes and procedures are, if in fact there are any processes in place. It's an absolute shambles! I've been assigned 2 different business account managers, both of whom had no clue what the status of my application was and neither of whom has followed up with me since. I complained to their complaints department who closed my ticket without resolution, and so unbelievably, I had to then complain about the complaints department's business processes. I don't wish to open this call account any longer since I don't feel that my money is safe in the hands of this incompetence. I'd cancel my application but somehow I don't think I need to. Somebody needs to look at Standard Bank's processes very, very soon or this circus tent will come tumbling down!