One for the books - perhaps for a book about debacles?

<p>I've been trying to get Standard Bank to close my account for a month. Mostly because their customer service has been getting progressively worse since I got an account there; among other things, they are completely incapable of editing my address on my bank statement (one of the only things all places – home affairs, traffic department, etc – accept as proof of address, which you need to do ANYTHING). They still email it to me with my grandparent's old address - they don't even live there anymore! - which I last gave them in 2013. I did a formal change of it 3 times since then – 2014, 2015, 2016 – with great hassle, including actually taking the bank teller to my house and showing him that my key unlocks it - but despite this, nope, they don’t know why it’s wrong on the statement and they can’t change it. However, when I pay R50 to have it printed at the branch it mysteriously comes out with the right address. <br />Ergo, switching to Capitec. Started the process beginning of April, during the holidays when it was nice and quiet. Find out all the papers, do proof of address (AGAIN), asked them if there were any outstanding fees. Bank lady says she'll get back to me within a day or two on what the best way is to transfer money to new account, says EFT will be expensive. Never gets back to me. Week later, I take a chance and EFT the bulk of my funds, it doesn't cost me a cent. I go back to the branch, make sure they know it must be closed, draw the last R30 at the teller as per bank lady’s instructions, sign last papers. She promises me it will be closed within 3 business days. More than a week later, I get a message, "Your account is overdrawn". When I check online, it is indeed overdrawn by R35, and therefore not closed. I call customer service seven times to get through. They can’t help me, that’s a branch problem. I call branch 10 times, no answer. I go back to the branch, which is only open between 9am and 3.30pm (who has time to go to the bank in the middle of a work day??). (At this point I also file a complaint on the complaint hotline, who said they'd get back to me in 5 business days, and still haven't 2 weeks later). Anyway, branch apparently charged me R35 to draw my last R30. Please, just keep the R30.... they apologise and say it was their mistake, it happens a lot (!!) they'll reverse it and it'll be closed in 2 days. Week later, message: “Your account is overdrawn and earning negative interest”. I call them every day for a week, they finally pick up on Thursday. I inform the lady politely that I am not coming back to the branch again, and am not particularly happy, and they must fix this. She promises it will be closed by the next day.<br />Today, I get an email statement. I open it, and am ecstatic to see that the “statement frequency” says “CLOSED”. Hallelujah. But the best part is, they have finally changed my address…. To the university res where I last lived 3 years ago!</p> <p>P.S. The staff at the branch are friendly and I do believe they attempt to be genuinely helpful, but in practice, the service is... well, non-functional, as per experience above. </p>