Non-existant servive from Standard Bank

I'd like to complain about the poor service, but that would imply that you provide any service at all, bad or otherwise, which you don’t!! Next year I would have been a client for 50 years and I have NEVER experienced anything as poor as the service you provide now. If you think Home Affairs or COJ are bad, you've taken it to another level altogether. I've had no Internet access since Saturday. (service unavailable). Tried again Sunday, same problem. No prior warning, no email, SMS, nothing. Just cut off your clients trying to pay their Municipal account to prevent being cut off. I did, however, receive an email last week telling me there had been no activity on my current account and to please do a transaction to reactivate it. This on the account into which my monthly salary is paid, all my accounts are paid from, debit orders, petrol and grocery shopping etc. Guess I got sent the wrong email!! 9 calls to and from the CALL CENTRE on Sunday, waited hours for return calls transferred twice to the 'Internet Department', once got cut off, the other time I had some woman with an American accent telling me to log on to the App. I do not have the App on my phone because I don't trust it. Why can't I speak to a human who can help me. So, this morning off to my branch (Cresta), at my expense, thinking they can help me and what do they do but dial the same Call Centre number for assistance. I sat for an hour (55 minutes) and no-one even answered the phone!! Walked out and phoned again this afternoon from home at 14h00. Call back came at 17h00. You obviously have very poor systems or not enough call centre staff, although I suspect both would be the case. Explained the debacle to a lady, was put on hold and its now an hour on the phone and I’m still listening to the same music! Can you please get someone to phone me to solve this – it has just got ridiculous now.