Monday Came and Went

I went back on Monday, hoping against hope. I was early. 2nd in the queue, and the Consultant who had ordered my statements was at work. Things are looking good. " Good morning, Consultant, have my statements arrived?" "Good morning, Mr. Hartman. Please speak with my team leader. She is in the cubicle by the manager's office." " 2 days ago, I was told that because you ordered the statements, you are the only person in the bank who could help me. Now you tell me, "Don't talk to me, talk to my team leader." "Yes, go and talk to her; she will assist you." "The statements are not here, are they?" "Please go and talk to her." Okay, okay. The cubicle by the manager's office. "Good morning, team leader. Consultant A says I need to talk to you about my bank statements. Have you got them?" " Good morning, Mr. Hartman, please go and talk to Consultant B. She's in the 1 st cubicle as you come in." "Yes, I know Consultant B. She has helped me many times before." " Consultant A sends me to see you. You send me to see Consultant B. Boy; am I glad I have got nothing better to do with my time than to come and waste, sorry spend my time, in Standard Bank." "Good morning, Consultant B.. Team leader says I must talk to you about my bank statements." " Yes, I know, but I honestly do not know what to tell you." " Let's start at the beginning, "Client Services ", we have a reference number, and the message they sent me about me getting my statements on the 23rd. A week ago. They might know what's going on." Long Story short, after her 3rd phone call and still in the dark about my statements, I told her I had things to do, and I was not going to hang around while she phoned everybody and their mother trying to trace my statements. " I will come back in 2 hours I said. She gives me the thumbs up. Fast forward two hours, and I am back. "And?" I ask with the look of a 7-year-old expecting his 1st bicycle as a present for Christmas. " Mr Hartman, I have spoken to everyone I can think of. Team Leaders, managers, consultants, and have nothing to tell you. I am going to submit another service request and start the whole thing again." " So when shall I come back?" " I'll phone you. "The telephone signal where I live is pathetic. I will miss the call. I'll tell you what. For other reasons, I will be back in town on Wednesday, and if I have not received them by email by then, I will come in, and you can give them to me or tell me to come back on " pick a day, any day." Have you got my email address?' "Yes, I have " " Okay, when you get them, email them to me." " Mr Hartman, the good news is the manager says I must refund you the R300 you paid for the statements, so please bring in the receipt when you come in on Wednesday- do you still have it? " I'll check - see you Wednesday - bye" Message to Standard Bank - in your response, if you respond. please spare me the platitudes about how you do your best for customer service excellence because, unfortunately, Standard Bank, your best is not good enough, and if it weren't for all the skeletons in the cupboard I have with Standard Bank, wild horses could not drag me into your bank