Making it impossible to close an account

Over the past month I have been trying to close an account that I have with Standard Bank over a number of separate visits to the branch. My visits are limited to Saturdays because, like a large portion of their customer base, I work full time during the week. The last time I visited they sent me on a massive runaround to zero the balance of the account before they would close it for me, only to later tell me that they couldn't close it because it had a 32-day notice deposit linked to it (of which I had no knowledge and was not listed anywhere on my Internet banking page). So after waiting the requisite time period for the notice deposit to be paid out, I returned to the bank. I have now been standing (because they don't have any available seats remaining) for over an hour and a half trying to get this ****ed thing closed with absolutely no sign that it will be resolved today. I have zero interest in waiting another week/month/year and going through this again just to hear another excuse for why an account with a positive balance and no outstanding issues cannot be closed immediately or remotely. <br> Only consolation is that when this is done I will never have to deal with them again.