Ludicrous authentication questions

Absolute insanity. I phoned standard bank today to request IT3's for my tax and 4 missing pages from a bank statement ( for some reason i get statements from 15th onwards ONLY so unless i download them myself I am always missing pages. I had to go through an authentication check of which I kept failing because the question was - do I have an account with Telkom - I closed that account in February - apparently I need to phone telkom.... HAVE YOU TRIED PHONING TELKOM! you cannot get through. So basically im *****ed and because of a ridiculous authentication system I cannot get the paper work I need. This is seriously enough to make me move all 5 of my accounts to another bank