Impossible to close account (STD BANK STILL GETS MONTHLY FEES)

Over the past 2 years I have been charged for monthly (R180'ish) "management" fees for an account that I do not use. Despite various long and expensive calls to find alternatives to this, it was never resolved. Now I want to close my account, but I am overseas (Australia) and unable to physically go to a branch, so I call the branch that held my account only to get told that "I need to visit a branch to close my account". The consultant didn't even listen to what I had to say, just picked on "close account" and read off some script she had in front of her. After painfully explaining to her that I cannot come to a branch, i was yet again put on hold and transferred to another department where I had to relay my problem all over again. This time, I was told to complete some forms (which sounded a bit more hopeful), but then got told that I need to financially emmigrate in order to close my account. Surely, that can't be right, but I was told that was the only way!!! This is absolutely appauling, STD BANK is just charging fees to my account and getting away with highway *******. The request is simple, I want to close my STD BANK account because it is the worse bank in the world. I want to leave my other non std bank accounts as is, because those bank are more in tune with their customers than you!