I could write a book about horrible standard bank experiences

Tried to be surety for a student loan but got turned down instantly. I've been trying since Friday to find the reason. Private banking can't enquire, they can only ask as I do and they ended up with the same email address I started with. We had tried that email address and got a reply saying that an email had been sent to me with the result. However I've been waiting since Friday night and haven't received any e-mail. On Saturday I had called, the Prestige Banking line, I was told to actually go into the Private Bank Suite. Fortunately I did not as they would not have helped. The second time I called the general line, they put me through to credit. The first person (credit) told me I had the wrong number and passed me to someone else. I got a message saying they were closed (by that time, yes they were). On Monday morning, that person (credit sales) said I must go into a main branch to find out. I'm now trying HelloPeter - I hate using it but I don't have to listen to the very long recorded messages and then have to sit through an adverts and then be shifted from one person to another without progress.