I cannot go into a branch as the branch was closed. What now?

Standard Bank has just sent me an email indicating that if I do not register for, and enable My Updates, then I will be liable for 30c every time I receive an SMS from them. So... I found out how to allow notifications. They were alrealy allowed. However, at the end of the steps I was told "But you have to be registered for My Updates". So, after more searching, I found an FAQ which states that I have to go to a bank to register. The trouble is that Standard Bank closed their branch in my town (Stilbaai) so how am I supposed to do this? Come on Standard Bank. I see you changed your "Better, Simpler Faster" for good reason.