How to bank with Standard Bank - You don't

I'm sorry, I see now that I should have rep**** to the email and not deleted it. I assumed that I will be sending a reply on Hello Peter, so here it is.

My first attempt to open my Cheque account in the Castle walk branch was in February this year. The consultant didn't want to approve it without a payslip because my salary was paid in from different accounts. On the request of the consultant I sent through my payslip and never heard from the branch again.

In July, I went back to the branch and app**** again, because my salary was higher and coming in from the same account and I had a payslip there, just in case. In August, I return to the branch to find out that my account hadn't been opened, there is no card waiting, nothing. So I left it and started pondering a move to FNB.

2 weeks after this, I get a phone call from Standard Bank (head office I pressume) that asks me if I've moved my salary to the new account. This is the first time I've heard that I've been approved for my cheque account and that my card is ready at the branch. Spectacular customer communication.

When I went to collect my card and attempted to do the simple banking feature of linking my two cards to each other. After an hour in branch, the service agent adviced me that the system was down. So I had a card, no monthly limit set, and no cards linked. However, the customer service agent advised me that I can send a secure message requesting the card link. (Which I did)

3 Weeks later, I go back to the branch, because my cards still haven't been linked. In branch, 40 minutes later, the customer service agent advised me that she can't seem to find the reason behind the system's refusal to link my cards, she will deal with the issue on Monday. To be fair, I think your new SAP system has a personal vendetta against me because Nomsa phoned me back on Friday saying that for some or other reason the system can't link a cheque account to a savings account *because IT reasons*

The day I logged my first complaint on Hello Peter, I was trying to do transfers, but I didn't receive my OTP's. At which point I flipped my lid. Within a week after that I stood like an idiot at a Pick n Pay because my card was declined. "You have reached your daily limit" the cashier informed me. That was my first swipe of the day.

Tonight, I tried to make EFT's, AGAIN, and still no OTP's. Not on my cheque or my savings account. To log a secure query, I need to enter, you guessed it, an OTP.

I'm not receiving the promised transaction notifications. I'm not receiving OTP's to bank. I can't change my monthly transfer limit on my cheque account because I need the OTP's that I'm not getting. My card is tempramental about when it wants to work.

So I repeat: How do you bank with Standard Bank? You don't. Simply because you can't bank at all.