Nova Pioneer - Expectation vs. Reality

“our approach is child-centered, choice-driven and small-group focused. This age group benefits from fami****ity, consistency and deepened relationship-building with their dedicated class adults.”

My little girl, gorgeous, sweet and kind; in the same breath, fearlessly stubborn, a leader of note (at age 6, leadership skills still under development and often just the instigator), very cleaver (will use this trade to manipulate what she wants), had to fight for her life since before birth (with very traumatic times all her life), a child that is not always able to self-regulate; these are just some of her personality trades, however you needed to know this to understand the context of what I am about to tell you.

In 2018, we joined the Nova Pioneer Paulshof family. We chose Nova before then, always knowing this school is a perfect fit for my daughter and our family.

Before we joined – I had a long discussion with the school leader; as I wanted to make sure they were going to love my daughter as much as we do and will “co-parent” with us. I was honest and kindly requested we raise my daughter together with honest communication (she just came from a school where communication wasn’t great and where we found out she was locked in a store room up to 4 times a day for being “defiant” – this experience was traumatic, at the age of 6, she still talks about stuff that happened at this school and is still processing).

Expectation vs. Reality – Please read this, it’s long, but it’s truthful and any family joining the school needs to be made aware.

If you considered this school – you will have heard all they have to offer and most likely be as excided as I was about your child’s future here.

2018 went well… like in most instances’ experiences are created by the love individuals put in. Our girl was loved, she was built up, she was understood, her teacher and I worked together to make sure she’s happy – when she wasn’t happy, what the previous school believed was “defiance”, her teacher stepped in and made sure we get the right help for her (by way of occupational therapy and play therapy); she was correctly diagnosed this time – inability to self-regulate and muscle memory to a time where she had to fight for her life. My child blossomed.

2019, she continued to grow – strange things started happening, members of staff would mention “I’ve not seen her in the office all week”, I tried to talk to both her teacher and principal about what’s going on and how can we fix this? But it was always laughed at and dismissed – based on the love we received the previous year, I trusted their confirmation, (I also enjoy a very open and close relationship with my child – she expressed so much love for the school leader – in her words “we are best friends”) I chose to believe everything is okay and from my side continued to be honest with her 2019 “co-parent”. There was a little weird incident at after-care one day; during class time a fight broke out between my daughter and a class mate, he stepped on the fort she built and she reacted with a kick, I’m not defending her, but at age 4 I also understand how these thing plays out, the other child’s mother was very upset and when she fetched him asked the after-care staff to point my child out, they did, she then proceeded to take the incident up with my child? Where’s the protection? This happened during class time, and I have full confidence the teacher did deal with it and gave the appropriate “punishment” already?

I had so much love for the school and staff and continued to promote the school and if any parent was not 100% happy, had long conversations, always standing up for the school.

In 2019, there was also a couple of occurrences – One day I got to school and she was in the sick room, completely shattered; the school made a choice to protect her from other parent’s and possible labelling after she had a meltdown – I got to school and had to be told by a class friend she was taken to the sick room; remember I mentioned the store room lock up at the previous school – even though Nova Paulshof has a beautiful sick room, my child in that moment did not even see this, in her little 5 year old mind she was again “locked up” in a store room (she was not actually locked up, the door was only closed, and she was unable to escape). Another instance that stuck out – she was in GR00 this year – there was a playground incident, she lifted a crate and accidently bumped a GR-R child. Immediately she started apologising, she was in the wrong of-course, and should have had her appropriate disciplining and educating, however this was not the case, my daughter was called into the older class after break and made to publicly apologise to the child again in-front of his whole class? When I addressed this, I was told the other child was very upset and that’s that? Now I’m not the best parent in the world, but is public shaming the way to go?

I am not blind to my child’s faults; I know I can not raise her by myself and as such I have always been honest with Nova and have asked for the same.

2020… the year that no one will forget! At the beginning of the year there was the before school start parents evening – I noticed my child was put in a teacher’s class I do not think is the best choice for her. This teacher and I already had a friendly relationship and she’s such a sweetie – but she wasn’t the right choice for my child. She’s gentle, she’s kind, a really mommy that loves her children, but can not always cope with a child that’s “out the box”. I approached the school leader and she said, she choice this teacher for my child and that’s it. I thought I was crazy and perhaps just unfair, I spoke to a number of internal staff, that over the years have become good friends – they also know this teacher personally, they confirmed this teacher is not the best fit for my daughter. In the workplace this is technically seen as constructive dismissal. We tried to approach the school leader again, but she would not speak to us directly and instead said we must speak to the dean of instruction. We spoke to this dean and with shared all our concerns, we were told not to worry and it is really the best fit for our daughter - we loved the school and decided to give it a try. My daughter went through separation anxiety… at the age of 5 turning 6 later the year, she would cling to me in the mornings, she begged me to not take her to school, in the middle of the night she would just cry, at school she presented with a nervous bladder. Again, I tried the school leader to ask her for help in investigating what was going on during the day and help me ensure my kid is happy (an unhappy child cannot learn – one of Nova’s talks all the time), again I was put into contact with the dean, whom “investigated” and said everything was fine. My child was not happy, I also realised the school decided to not only split her from her best friend (I get sometimes best friends in a class can be disruptive), but from all her friends she loved to play with, in her new class she had no friends, she also struggled to make new friends. She was unhappy, at home, in her comfort space, she wasn’t happy anymore. Then lockdown happened – perhaps the best thing that could have happened to her, I home school – yes I’m more aware now than ever before my child is not the easiest to school, but at home she grew, she blossomed again. We resumed with home-schooling for the rest of the year and after numerous hurtful conversations, when a memory gets “triggered” we decided to change schools. I signed up with a honest and open request to co-parent my kid; but unfortunately this commitment was only from my side.

To make matter worse, some more “inside” information – if your child requires any form of therapy, they will not be judged or labelled by their class mates, but in the words of someone on the inside “the school leader will have nothing nice or kind to say about them” Another person high in the organisation, at a different campus, at every chance she gets mentioned my child is an “OT case” (not the words you expect from someone that’s supposed to be trained and be the best of the best at co-parenting – but I guess that’s how they chose to speak about the children that needed a little more love and understanding)

I have tried to avoid this form of communication – I have filled in survey’s, I have sent emails, I have had so many phone calls – but at the end they did not want my child there any longer and made sure to “constructively dismiss her”.

I’m not saying, don’t go Nova, I’m saying be informed – if you do choose the Nova route, I pray you end up with an amazing staff member, like we did during our first year and that your child does not require any form of therapy.

Thank you for reading about our experience.