Nedbank: Masters of the Never-Ending Debt Collection Saga

Ah, let me tell you a fascinating tale. Once upon a time—many, many moons ago—I had a Nedbank credit card. Life happened, as it does, and I fell on hard times. So, like any responsible adult drowning in financial woes, I had to go under debt review. No big deal, right? Fast forward through the years, past the age of dinosaurs, and boom—COVID hits! We all remember that little gem of a time.

Enter Norlam, the noble debt collectors, who took it upon themselves to manage my account. Over the years, they generously dangled a 40–50% settlement offer in front of me, like a juicy steak just out of reach. But, alas, I wasn’t in a position to take them up on it at the time. Now that I am? Well, the joke’s on me! Because suddenly, Nedbank has decided that negotiating is so last season.

Apparently, a debt that’s over ten years old is too precious to be settled at a discount. I mean, why accept a reasonable payment when they can just keep raking in interest forever? Brilliant strategy, really. I must commend them on their commitment to keeping consumers in financial limbo.

So here I am, desperately trying to settle a debt, and Nedbank—who has already collected more than double the original amount in interest—is like, “Nah, we’d rather keep you in the system.” Absolutely stellar customer service.

At this point, I can only tip my hat to their unwavering dedication to making life unnecessarily difficult. Well played, Nedbank. Well played.