Claim to be paid out without the consent of the appointment of an executor

I am totally disgusted with this organization. Their lack integrity, professionalism and empathy towards individuals who are grieving due to a loss, and especially the loss of a child. My son passed on on 15 August 2022 very suddenly. Mibfa informed my ex-husband of the provident fund that my son had been paying. When I found out about the fund, they sent me forms which I ran around trying to sort so that it would get to them timeously, in the meantime they were communicating with my ex-husband only and only if I contacted Nicole Vrede from Mibfa, will she respond with no empathy whatsoever. She told me that my husband was going to report the estate and they will be paying him out. I told her that I am disputing the claim because I am the biological mother of the child who passed and legally I was entitled to consent or approve any appointment of any executor. Six weeks passed with no correspondence from her, in the meantime she claimed that my husband was appointed the executor and I should get a court order to stop Mibfa from paying out the money to my ex-husband. I am totally disappointed with their service and their insensitivity to human beings having endured loss.