I am NOT Mrs S Lekekela!

<p> Dear Foschini,</p> <p> </p> <p>I have been receiving Mrs S Lekekela's Markham statement SMSes for YEARS now. I've just received another one today and, by the way, she owes you guys R32. Better get on that heavy debt of hers!</p> <p> </p> <p>As you may have gathered by now, I am not Mrs S Lekekela and I don't care about her Markham account debt. I'm writing to you because your support staff have been incredibly unhelpful in resolving this issue.</p> <p> </p> <p>I don't know her account number, her ID number, her street address, her blood type, her cup size or her favourite ice cream flavour, so I cannot assist your call centre staff with identifying her. SURELY you have my mobile number saved somewhere on a database and can remove it from your list?</p> <p> </p> <p>I phoned ********** and reached an exceptionally rude, lethargic call centre employee (didn't ask her name, should have!) who instructed me to call ********** and choose option 4. I reached Terrance who sounded truly alarmed at the amount of Lekekelas on your system and could not help me in any way.</p> <p> </p> <p>Like I said, this has been going on for years and all previous attempts of ridding my life of Mrs S Lekekela and the burden of her EXCESSIVE Markham debt have failed.</p> <p> </p> <p>So, do you think you MAY be able to find my number on your Markham database and remove it from your list? Please! If it helps, I got the message from + ********** ********** 69.</p>