Woolworths NEVER EVER GET A WOOLWORTHS CREDIT CARD!

I have tried so many times to resolve the terrible service that I have received from Woolworths Financial services. Every time I try to do anything (this time it is simple - I would like to create an online banking profile) then I go to Woolworths who send me to Absa. Absa then say that they have limited capabilities on the system and send me back to Woolworths. When I call the call centre, I am met with people who cannot help and are VERY poorly trained. This morning I had a conversation with one who just started laughing when i asked her what I should do as I am at my wits end!? I have asked for managers to call me back...they never do. The call centre staff tell me that they are all employed by Absa but Absa refuse to take responsibility and Woolworths don't care.

I have no idea where to go???? Perhaps Standard bank or my local bakery can sort my online banking problems out???