Disastrous Christmas Lunch

Let us start from the beginning. I confirmed with them 4 separate times, that I was booking for 4 adults and a child under 4, they told me that although it was not on my invoice, it was on their admin side, on the 24th again they said it was sorted.

In the hopes of having an early lunch, so that my 3 year old would get to have a snooze in the afternoon, we arrived at the venue at 12:20, to absolute chaos, so many people clearly had the same idea, lunch early and then rest at home.

My husband eventually found someone that could help us find our table, and after being taking through all three venues we were taken to our table - 102 - with low and behold 4 seats, so not the 5 places that I had confirmed - with 3 crackers when every other table had an overflow of decorations.

Sitting on a slope, in the sun, with a pensioner and a toddler is not fun, and when our fifth chair eventually arrived, it had a weak point on the one leg, so I was sitting on a slope in the sun, attempting to stop my son from tipping in his chair while simultaneously balancing on my precariously balanced chair.

So the four of us go off to get lunch, in the sun drenched line, while my husband attempts to order our drinks, for an unknown amount, as they only had a wine and spirit menu.

After viewing the line, I decide to dish for myself, my husband and our son. Eventually arriving at the food, I stand holding the plate while the staff have a conversation with the serving s**** in their hand, and I stand and wait - stodgy rice (no gravy) half their menu can not be seen, I eventually get hold of the s**** and help myself. NOT a great start to a lunch of R395, a piece.

Back at the table, my husband is finally served with our drinks, 3 Creme Sodas and a corked bottle of white wine, no glasses, straws or a bottle opener. We are back at the table before the bottle opener and straws arrive. Let me tell you, the dexterity of a 3 year old does not extend to drinking straight from a can.

While we sit, we watch as three smokers stand not even 1 meter from a no smoking sign and proceed to fill there lungs AND everyone around them with their disgusting habit, while half a meter from the entrance to your building, when we point this out to what we assume is one of your managers and ask them to please ask these people to please not smoke, and impede our right to a smoke free lunch, we find it has been ignored and they continue to light up, *******LY right by your non-smoking sign.

Okay, so cold lunch (when it should be hot) rubberized ox tail, spicy creamed spinach and cold roast veggies, with a side of tar. thanks but I am done. I send my husband for dessert. It is now 3 in the afternoon, and clearly you have made no head way in where to put this - your staffs response, we will see what we can do.

Eventually, dessert is placed on one of the tables in the sun and we can help ourselves - warm fruit, milkshake instead of ice cream and a vomit looking peppermint crisp that ran out before half the line was through - people standing in the sun, waiting their turn while others jump the line unimpeded.

Overall, I must say I am not impressed with your venue, your service, your menu or anything else you may have to offer - after waiting for 10 minutes for our bill, after watching quite a few people dine and dash, our bill arrives with our waiter, he does not remember to give my my license (needed to open a tab) and when I ask for a machine to pay the bill, disappears, never to be seen again.

Luckily, my husband works in a shop that has the same speed points you have, asking a waitress to pass the machine, serving himself while the bar tender and our waiter watch on, he pays our bill and we can leave, no signage for where to exit, we wait by the reception to be picked up, and my husband has to fight with your security guards, who have watched us stand there, so that he can pick us up, reverse and leave through your back entrance?

I am writing this to you first, as a courtesy but will be sending this out there for others to know, as quite a few people in the lines for the food, said all they could find was great reviews for a venue that had not reached the expectations of their clients on the day.