Mini Soft Gums – A Culinary Hate Crime

If sadness came in gummy form, it would be these “mini soft gums.” I bought them expecting a cute, chewy treat, instead, I got a tiny bag of betrayal.

The texture? Imagine someone mixed rubber bands with regret and sprinkled in some plastic confetti for extra crunch. I’m 90% sure I chewed on a Barbie’s shoe.

The taste is where the real horror begins. They somehow manage to be both bitter and flavorless, like chewing on a memory of candy that never was. There’s this haunting raw flour aftertaste …how? There’s no flour in them! It’s like they manifested blandness.

And okay, I get it, they’re sugar-free. But “sugar-free” doesn’t have to mean “joy-free.” There are entire bakeries built around sweet, delicious things with no sugar. These? These are what happens when a sadistic dentist teams up with a disillusioned food scientist.

If you’re looking for a candy that makes you question your life choices, your taste buds, and possibly your sanity, this is the one.

0/10. Would rather gnaw on drywall.