Still Waiting... for Service That Doesn't Exist?

Well, here we are again, Standard Bank Home Insurance. Almost three months without hot water, and you'd think I was asking for some rare, otherworldly service—like, I don't know, a geyser that works! But no, here I am, getting to experience the full range of your signature service, if you can even call it that.

In case you've forgotten (and it seems like you have), back in August, I wrote about the brilliant plumbers you sent who decided that plastic pipes were a solid replacement for copper, and then graciously installed a geyser that, surprise surprise, didn't even work. Since then, the "new and improved" element and thermostat failed again after a whopping three days of functionality. Yet, after all this time, the best response from Standard Bank is that you're still “investigating.” Investigating what exactly? The lost art of customer service?

While you’ve been doing your in-depth analysis (which I imagine looks like someone staring at a blank wall), I've been enjoying cold showers, mounting frustration, and radio silence from your end. Stellar stuff.

I have to wonder: is this the gold standard of service your customers should expect? Incompetence, delays, and a total inability to communicate? Management's "problem-solving skills" seem as effective as the original geyser installation—completely botched. If this is the bar you're setting, it’s not just low—it’s practically underground.

Here’s a thought: potential customers should perhaps consider ABSA. I hear they understand the basics—like delivering service and resolving issues before you’ve forgotten what your hot water felt like.

So, should anyone take Standard Bank Home Insurance seriously? Only if they enjoy cold showers and long waits.