Spar (and a shout-out to FNB for holding our money so nicely)

Checkers, Superbalist; Takealot; Amazon - perhaps ***** a couple of disgruntled coders and a less irritated, rude manager with knowledge and a personality from one of these providers. They use working algorithms, AI and actual people to control their stock and SOPs.

So each branch has its own imaginary availability, displayed prettily on the app. Except the availability is indeed just a dream because I received a call long after ETA with a list of out of stock items, matching my order. (At least Woollies has the manners to show that they have no stock of anything) I said cancel everything but I need an instant refund. But their TAT (which incidentally is not present in their terms and conditions) is seven to 14 working days. Like, what?

I was wrong to suggest ways of improving your app. Just bring it down. It'll probably cost you more to fix it than to s**** it.