Proclaimed 5 star country lodge, extremely dissapointed

my love of my life brought me here to the proclaimed 5 star country house for a suprize birthday weekend away, wanting to spoil me with the treatment of 5 star and romance. well on arrival i could see she was very upset. the room walls are cracked and the garden leading out the room a mess... they brought a can of doom and tabbard to us....

after complaining they moved us to another room, which was better but also not up to standard. the remotes for the tv and dstv didnt work... even putting in new batteries.... the safe didnt work, they couldnt open it nor could they find the key for it...

the bed was so outwarn, we ended sleeping on top of each other....

the food was extemely poor, i can write all the wrongs here but ill leave it to management to contact me .

for charging 5 star rates one would like to expect 5 star treatment, food and services....

i would like management to contact me before i go to the South African Tourism Board and lay complaints in on the so called 5 star rating.