Traumatized car accident and HORRIFIC customer service!!

I had an accident with my 4yr old in the car. It was a horrible terrifying Accident. THANK the Lord we were both Okay. The Towing company had told me they should write my car off because it looks horrible and will cost a lot of money to fix. My car went in to the panel beaters to get fixed. My car was there a month. Outsurance gave me a loan car and failed to tell me I only have it for 30 days. Got my car back and there was a HORRIFIC vibration on my engine. I took the car back three times and the last time they had to collect it on a low bed because it was given a Drive Train error, it was not sorted. Then I forced the insurance to take it to BMW because the Panel beater failed to check everything on my vehicle after I had said, I need you to check engine, suspension, electronics, radio, aircon etc etc. They took it to BMW and they have now said ALL 4 rims and ALL 4 tyres need to be replaced something about my aircon need to be replaced and something about my shocks not being the same make. OUTsurance is now saying they will only fix 2 rims... NOT what BMW has recommended. Bare in mind that this is now 4 weeks without a vehicle, 2 months in total I do not get feedback from the assessor. The first quote to fix the outside of my vehicle R109 000. BMW's quote to fix the vibration and shocks etc is R76 000. Which takes it WAY over the write off amount.... OUTsurance cannot guarantee me the the vehicle will be in excellent condition after they fix it. I drive my 4 yr old to school everyday and I drive on the highway to work! I have now been without a vehicle for 4 weeks and counting, VERY little to NO feedback and a decision to write it off or not so I can buy a new vehicle that is safe for my daughter to drive in. The BMW report says 4/5 issue on my car is accident related... Yet they FAIL to replace what BMW has recommended to replace. AFTER the Panel Beater took the insurers money did he fail to fix what was wrong with the inside of my vehicle!! I still have no feedback. My Boss has already said I have this week to sort out my car or they will have to make plan for someone who can get to work.... MY job is on the line and there is Zero Effs given from OUTsurance who I have been with for MANY MANY years with no accidents no claims from me!! Now I get into my first accident and it's a FREAKING nightmare!!! I have asked if you cannot guarantee me that my car will be as it was before my accident I suggest you write it off.... As my insurer the T's and C's state we insure the safety or our customers... That vehicle is NOT safe for ether of us to drive in, EVEN BMW said they should have written it off!!! Yet they only want to fix and not replace just so they can save money!! Forget the safety of their customer and her 4 yr old daughter lets fix it and get this woman out of or hair... Obsoletely NO consideration for the situation, NO urgency!! Debit my account every month for more than 6 -8 years, never a missed payment yet this is what I get as a customer who's daughter was traumatized and it was not even my fault!!! I call for the complaint Lady Shana bailey at atleast 4-5 times a week... Asking for an update or a decision... It is not my fault the Panel beater took your money and now you're trying to save from spending any more! YOU chose this panel beater, he was on your list of TRUSTED company YOU sort it out with them!!!! I cannot be held liable for bad decisions made by you!!! I was a guarantee my car will be 100% or write of the vehicle so I can get a vehicle to get to work and get my daughter back to school!!!! If If there is not a decision made OUTsurance will see a face and an angry MOM!! I am a single mom and do not have alternative transport arrangements.... AGAIN ZERO EFFS GIVEN!!!