I really need a solution because i am slowly going into depression unnecessarily

Hellopeter... I am writing this letter with a painful heart and depression... In 2018/19 i app**** for a loan with Old mutual and during the course of the process they told me that i do qualify for a second loan, i thought it was a top-up, not knowing there's a deference until i encountered a problem.

I have never missed a payment without fail during the course of the duration of the loan, my instalment per month was R5000. 00 until covid - 19 happend... Around June or July i had requested for a 1 month ONLY payment relief option and they denied me that, after a while they said i qualify for only R2500 for that 1 month. Thats when they introduced that i can pay R3000 per month for 3 months and then come back again if covid was over... Because we were still in covid they gave me an extra 6 months again while paying R3000 with interests whereas i had requested for a restructuring of my loan. Old mutual took it that they cannot do it since its a New loan and if they restructure ill have to pay R4600 every month which i still couldn't afford since we are not working every day. So after the 6 months they gave me 3 months again so i had a year of relief that way my loan was R150 000. 00 when i had borrowed the money including interets now we are in July 2021 and the consultant told me last week that my loan account is R148 000. 00 after a year of paying the R3000 difference.

Now my challenge is i Do Not want to have a bad record and yet the arrangement of 3 months would be i pay R4000 not R3000 anymore from now. Eversince i had this account i do not even qualify for smaller loans to survive through out the month and the fact that they are taking R450 for a loan insurance...wat is that for exactly? I am worried that on the 15th they will be deducting R5000 and what am i going to be left with?i know i took the loan with the intention of paying it back without a hustle but i didn't ask for covid-19 So peter what do i do in this regard. I DON'T WANT TO BE IN CREDIT BEREUA or have debt consolidations and with me paying R3000 wasn't a favor but what i can afford which is better than nothing. Pls Help.