Mr Price – The Gift That Doesn’t Keep On Giving

Dear Mr Price,

Your service has left me both confused and deeply unimpressed. First, you asked me to rate the shoes I ordered – but I can’t because plot twist I haven’t received them. Do you want me to rate the invisible product? Spoiler alert: 0 stars for ghost shoes.

Then there’s the mystery of the missing plant holders I ordered LAST YEAR. Your system says “delivered,” but unless they’ve sprouted legs and walked off, they’re nowhere to be found.

Now, someone from the Sports Department has kindly chased up my shoes (bless them), but what about my runaway planters? Do they not deserve the same energy? Or are they busy decorating someone else’s house?

At this point, I deserve not just the shoes and planters, but also an apology, some extra goodies, and maybe a gift card for emotional damages caused by this comedy of errors.

I look forward to your response, preferably one that comes with free things to ease my pain.

Yours (unhappily waiting), Zain