How To Train Your Lawyer

<div>I am an educated man by most people's standards, and would first off like to state here that I have prior experience in engaging with real, fully-fledged Attorneys, so I do not speak out of turn, nor from an uninformed perspective. If what you have already read on here is not enough to make your blood curdle, I am going to top what the majority have shared, and I unfortunately am the one guy who is NOT leaving this here - I'll call a&nbsp; The******, if its catharsis I'm really after. I signed up with LIPCO on 13 May 2019 believing, as most signing members would hope, that this would serve as a pillar of security, should I ever find myself in a legal predicament (after all, we sign up for medical insurance, as another example, in the hope that we could have the peace of mind of not bleeding out on a gurney in some sub-par Government joint,, should we one day end up in a terrible accident...). For starters, when I signed up with this lot last year, I waited roughly a month before receiving my membership pack, the reason being that my physical address/ other details had been entered incorrectly on their system no less than three times. I started reading the other complaints on here, but waited out the initial mediocrity, and eventually received my card and papers. Over a year later, I turned to them for the first time ever for actual legal representation and, to really summarize, here's what we have a year later: 1. I call their offices, state my case to one of their office admins, and am told me that the "Lawyer" who will be representing me will take my case, and contact me within a week. 2. I miss a call roughly a week later from 'Unknown Number', and receive my first text informing me of the name of this appointed "Attorney", and that I have seven days to return his call, or my '...matter... (will)... be... held in abeyance'. 3. I get hold of this guy; he answers my call, and tells me he's terribly sorry, but things are really hectic there at the moment - could he call me back in two days. He goes on to tell me I am by far one of his most patient and pleasant clients to date. And so I wait, patiently and pleasantly... 4. I eventually receive this momentous call, am read back in parrot fashion everything the office official had relayed from my initial brief to her: I end up having to correct half of the facts provided this guy and, after spelling all out painstakingly again, I am asked to email absolutely every point to him after the wasted exercise, which I eventually find a moment alongside my work schedule to do. 5. I soon learn that the majority of my phone calls will not be answered by my "Attorney", and the emails start flying - but before long, the Party I am seeking mediation with writes back to me saying, 'We trust you will now have discussed the matter with your legal representative - please could you kindly sign the Agreement and send it back to us as a matter of urgency' (not quoted verbatim, but you get the idea...). 6. Well, suffice it to say I am at breaking point, and my conversations with this "Attorney" start becoming a little heated, to say the least. I tell him I did not sign up for an inexperienced Law candidate to fumble around like this, or to waste my precious hour s****-feeding him. Ego was a little bruised, and I was basically told that while he, in fairness, did not have to share his credentials or level of experience with me, he was, in fact, a Lawyer. I really am just going to now cut this long, laborious essay short by stating that this guy actually ended up tripping himself up by stating that he was (I kid you not) 'Not going to jeopardize (his) candidacy as an Attorney by discussing with me service - related matters (I) should take up with them directly...' (please note: 'candidacy' - and Google reveals nothing more than this...). I was then furnished with his Manager's email address, should I want to take such queries up with her. Honestly, as I have told this young man, I don't have the time or patience to sit and teach him standard legal terminologies, complain to teachers, or to have my every JUSTIFIED complaint turn into an hour-long 'Kumbaya' I told him, as I told the Manager who called me today that, now roughly a month down the line, I no longer want to have lovely chats with people about what constitutes a good or bad experience, or the values and intentions of all at LIPCO - I simply want what I have spent the past year paying to have from them, and I now honestly no longer care who has a chat with who (I hold an Honours Degree in Psychology, but I'd honestly have to charge). I have informed this Manager, as I did his "Attorney of two years" that I now expect results. All hell is now going to freeze over if I do not see some results. I am also done sending emails first thing in the morning, only to receive a phone call anything between 16:30 and 17:30 the same evening P.S. When I asked this Manager re. this "Attorney's" credentials, I was told he was not sure - he knew he'd been with them for two years now, but he'd have to go and check his file. Apparently, he was also unaware of my "Attorney's" email this morning stating: 'Kindly note that we have a diary system due to the fact that it remains practically impossible to attend to all matters in one day'. A WORD OF WARNING: Beware the simplest request from you, the client taking around a MONTH to even see the light of day...! Honestly, I am going to get my money back, and would probably present a better case representing myself in even a small claims court. As for me, this is not over by a LONG shot.</div>