I dont know how to use the funding application forms to receive funding into a usable bank account

Great marketing material but doesnt actually work and or provide solutions I just keep applying into an abyss, and then because it requires a uk number and a uk bank account and there theres two trolls in the way and the bank account opening is not self service and the human being that resolves the issue doesnt relsove the issue and then the sim and or mobilbe issue doesnt get resolve so I dont get direct access to any funding so how the hell am i supposed to buy and or pay for anything and or receive funding? ***