****y

I thought the worst feeling in my world would be saying goodbye to my brother at the airport before embarking on the long journey back home after a glorious holiday, and while it was horribly unpleasant...it was suprisingly not the worst feeling experienced on my trip. I had the most incredible time away in Denmark. In a nutshell... Ice cream size of my head, viking ship excursions,extreme rides at Tivoli and even a trip to the store in a christiana piloted by my brother... more scary than any ride in the amu*****t park by the way. Denmark is still somewhat notorious for the use leather and pelts, so is my brother. While on holiday, my brother came across a great deal for a bag of leather, bought the leather leather made a wallet for me. ( sales details to be broadcast). I fell in love with it...Clearly someone else liked my magnificent piece too cause it was taken from me. Dnt wanna say i was pick pocketed on dubai so lets go with it was picked from my pocket. Oh no. No 150rand cup of coffee for me. Surprisingly though, this was not the worst feeling of my trip.

I got on to but didnt sleep on the plane bound for SA, but rather binge watched movies and series awaiting those cute airplane meals. It was a long journey with not enough delicious snacks. Well, there was ample, i just like food. Famished by my standards, I arrived in jhb and immediately something felt a miss, cant place my finger on it but i think it has to do with the heavily armed and strategically placed interpol looking ppl who demanded our passports on arrival. I could be wrong though. Maybe it was "tired Ang" thinking but i have to say, there is a certain element of excitement at the possibilty of having been on the same plane as one of the countries most wanted. We go through all the formalities of security and passport checks fairly quickly so much so that it so happens that im one of the first to arrive at the bag carousel. No ****s, i wasn't at the wrong carousel but also totally understand why that would be a first thought based on my history.

Curious Ang wants to know... Are the ppl at passport control trained to not smile? Is it part of ************ tactics? If so...your efforts are noted.

So first at carousel, and by first i mean i even beat the luggages arrival. After a 40 min wait i had my own doubts about the carousel i was hovering around and if it had intention of spewing out my bags. Ppl eventually started making alternative lift arrangements and booking over night hotel stays cause of the unnaturally long delay. An hour later my bag surfaced and i immediately saw that the lever for pulling said bag had been snapped clean off but kindly put into a sleeve in my bag, you know, in case i want to fix it. No need for anger and irritation though, only a short while and im home. Personally i think its a small price to pay for actually receiving my luggage. I race to my other brother( yes, i try ensure i have one at each airport for ease of movement)and he in turn races me to his house so that i can shower, brush Emirates off my teeth and spend a few moments with him. This happened insanely quickly and on next look, we were en route to O.R.Tambo. My brother opts to drop and go which im totally ok with cause in my mind, im a seasoned flyer now. Sooooo, once inside, I cant find my airline. Now i hate to point fingers so i won't, but its the airline that are proud sponsers of the boks, wear pink and blue uniform and name sounds like Daftbear. But as i said, no names mentioned. I asked on three seperate occasions, 3 different ppl, for guidance to find the check in counter. Now people, "Over there" and a motion of your eyebrows is not a ****ing answer.

"Where do u live Ang?" Janet asked. "Over there," Ang rep**** while directing her raised brows in the general direction of the road close to the one but on the opposite side to where she lives. "Good luck finding me *****," Ang thought to herself.

Over there is not a ****ing answer.

I eventually get taken to the line by someone who works for their paycheck and am pleasantly surprised to be first up. Things are looking better. They were not.

I waited while my check in operator( what's the correct term) tied her hair up a few times to make it perfect. Wasnt a long wait...5 or 10 min. She looked lovely. I ask to come over and she says eventually says yes, i explain that im there to drop my bag off and am met with, "Ok, what must i do about it." The statement doesnt make sense so i ask her to explain. Apparently she closed the bag check in 2 min prior...yes...2 of those minutes she was using to coift her do. She tells me with no eye contact at all that i must go to the teller to book a new flight....Its over there...she motions with eyebrows. Still though...this was not the worst news. I would clear this up quick sticks.

After eventually being properly shown where to go, i find myself meeting with an equally abrupt staff member of the unnamed flight centre.

I explain my plight and she says she has the solution...i can go home "tomorrow" I gave a slightly nervous giggle cause i wasnt sure if she was joking or not. How can that be the solution when my plane is still there. When boarding hadnt even started. One or 2 other ridiculous "solutions" were suggested, wait and see if a flight in 4 hrs get a free seat or...pay an additional 2700 and i can secure one. Yes, let me pay with my bank card that was just ******. Up to now even, i was still ok, still tolerating but when she disappeared to have a social conversation while my plane was starting its engines, i had a sense of humor failure. Im generally sunshine, and ocassionally hurricane....i was straight up typhoon. Miraculously, this yielded reaults and all of a sudden a plan was made. She made false promises of meeting me on the other side but no matter, i was through the security and had to run, all bags in tow.

Sparks flew from the ****ed up bag handle hitting tiles, i ultimately threw the handle away, picked the bag up like a baby in danger and kept going. I imagined the scene from Forrest Gump where he runs his braces off in that movie defining moment except mine was in reverse. Mid run i started limping from instant blisters and unwarmed muscles, more like Forrest Gimp if you will. I made it though, i got on the plane, my earlier shower in vain. I sat in my seat and rested till take off...although, a minor technical issue temporarily grounded us. An hour later ppl were commenting about the possibility of staying in jhb. "**** u all, i fought for this seat, im going home on this plane TODAY even if i commandeer it and fly it home myself" I got home eventually...i didnt have to fly it.

What exactly is my my issue? I got home. Yes i did and i was grateful for those who helped but...was the other necessary?did i have to be rendered to tears and utter disappointment before someone would assist? Did u have to wait till the final minute to allow me to or suggest i do the same thing ive been begging you to let me do for the last 40min. I dont feel it fair you say we will do what we can for our clients when thats the furtherest thing from the truth. Imagine my disgust and shock when i was told the reason no one would help me get my bags to where they needed to be was because, wait for it, "no we cant help, thats the last gate, its too far. THAT was the worst feeling in the world, no regard what so ever.

One things for sure...I needed a strong drink when i got home but even that let me down. Homes mini bar was empty. Will have to make sure that for the next time that i travel, i get Kulula. Oh oops, typo, Kaluah.