RMB Private Bankers are the reason I want to leave FNB FOREVER.

I hold a private clients account with FNB and a few months ago, unbeknownst to me, I assigned a RMB private banker. I do not have an RMB account and I was not asked to consent to this or notified of this change, it was just done from one day to the next. This would have been fine if the private banker I was assigned was marginally useful...

I tried applying for a re-advance on two different home loan by contacting the home loans department (makes sense right?) but was told I need to talk to my private banker instead. OK, so I checked the FNB app and got my private bankers phone number. I tried phoning them, but no answer, so I phoned the private banking service suite who told me they cannot help me, I must contact my private banker directly, but they'll send him/her an email to contact me urgently...

A week goes by and I receive a whatsapp message from a Johann de la Port claiming to be my private banker, letting me know that he is on leave till the end of the month, but I can contact his assistant, Ayanda Mere. So that's what I did... this was on the 5th of October. Subsequently I discussed my request with Ayanda who sent me a load of convoluted forms to fill in...which I did and sent back to her. I was informed the process takes around 10 business days.

On the 13th I receive a quote for one of the re-advance applications, on the 18th I receive the second. I signed and sent back each on the same day I received it.

Weeks later, on the 8th of November, after a few unanswered e-mails and phone calls to Ayanda and Johann, I receive some more forms that I need to fill in and sign... Those get signed and sent back two days later on the 10th of November.

Again, more than a week of no communication goes by and I get a phone call from Johann on the 19th of November informing me theres been an issue with the signatures on the documents and he drives to my house so I can sign the printed documents in person... but alas he only bring the one re-advance form, which I sign in person.

On the 23rd of November I get a payout for one of the re-advance applications. Today, the 25th of November, almost 2 months after I started engaging with FNB around these applications, I still have not received the second re-advance payment or received an update on the progress. I phoned both Ayanda and Johann today and got voicemail on both. I phoned the RMB private clients service suite and I was told they cannot help me, I need to speak to my private banker but they'll send Johann and e-mail on my behalf....wow...thanks guys...seriously why do I even bother phoning?!?!

Subsequently I decided I really really need to fire this useless private banker and his useless assistant, neither of which I have appointed or requested...so I phone the FNB private banking service suite...the gentleman that answers informs me that I they do not have a retentions department (seriously?!?) and that he cannot help me with my re-advance application...only my private banker can... he also cannot help me with firing my private banker or closing any of my FNB accounts....I need to speak to my private banker... I ask to speak to his manager...I wait on hold for 20 minutes and then get told that my private banker's manager is not available... I ask to get phoned back since 25 minutes on the phone is long enough I think... he says he'll send an email requesting my private banker's manager to contact me....

Now I hope you're as frustrated reading this as I am writing this... because WHAT THE F***... The premium service I'm getting with FNB Private banking / RMB Private Banking is NO SERVICE AT ALL. SO FAR EVERY SINGLE PRIVATE BANKER I'VE DEALT WITH HAS BEEN COMPLETELY USELESS! **I HATE RMB** and thanks to this terrible experience I've gone from being a huge FNB fan to wanting to close all my accounts with FNB and burn down the willowbridge branch. Good job guys....