Pathetic Private Banking Service

I opened a share account online in minutes by simply clicking a button. now I need to close. Private banking says I must deal directly with Share department for security reasons. WHAT IS THE POINT OF PRIVATE BANKING? Am I paying hefty private banking fees for personalized service or to be routed to another department? So if homeloans, credit card, vehicle finance etcc... want to deal directly what is the point of private banking?! ANyway I go through the trouble of contacting Share dept. They have 48 hours turn around time. 1 week later there is no response. Private Bank cannot help, cannot escalate, cannot do anything!! I ask him to escalate and still no response. Pathetic, useless, *********** service. Give me a reason to stay!!