On Hold for 45 Minutes to Change Something I Never Authorised

On Friday I received an SMS from FNB saying there was a misalignment on my credit card debit order and salary date, and that to change my debit order date to the 26th of the month I should reply "YES" to opt in, or "NO" to opt out - standard SMS rates apply, of course. Now this was a concern, for two main reasons - firstly, I don't have any debit orders for that account, and secondly, I don't get paid on the 26th of the month, I only get paid later on in the month. So I ignored the SMS - why should I pay for an SMS to tell my bank NOT to do something I haven't asked them to do?

Today I received another SMS telling me that my debit order will be changed to the 26th of the month, and I should reply "NO" (and pay for an SMS) to opt out, or phone them for assistance.

Curious as to what debit order is supposedly coming off this account, and what makes them think I get paid on the 26th of the month, I decided to phone them. The lady I spoke to advised me that she didn't have the "authorisation" to view this information, and that she was going to get someone else to assist me - that was 45 minutes ago, and I've been on hold ever since. I'm not sure if she is still waiting for this person to be born, or what the situation is, but here is a list of things I have managed to do while on hold with my bank who claims to care about me so much:

1. Compile a report for a client 2. Send 6 emails 3. Make plans with a friend 4. Check prices of flights to Poland 5. Post on Instagram 6. Have a conversation with a colleague 7. Write this review

As of the end of this review I am still on hold, listening to the same five awful songs on an endless loop, losing the will to live with each passing second. To say this customer service (or lack thereof) is appalling, would be an understatement.