FNB - Worst Customer Experience

I am a pensioner and dealing with FNB has been one of the most frustrating and unsuccessful experiences I have encountered in a very long time. I tried to open an account online to link to PayPal. An error message was displayed indicating that I must visit a branch. I went into the branch at Fourways mall . After a very long wait, it was finally my turn, only to be informed by the assistant that she did not know anything about PayPal, gave me a number to call and suggested that I go home , sit in front of my computer and call the number. (This visit was a waste of my time, petrol and parking fees! From home, I called the number I was given, only to hold on for a very long time with a recorded message indicating that they are experiencing high call volumes. Finally after nearly an hour of holding on, my airtime was depleted. I attempted to call again the next day and finally got through, only to be told that I would be transferred to another department. After holding on a very long time, finally a representative answered only to refer me to another number. This morning I called again, waited a long time for the call to be answered, got transferred again to another department. After listening to my query, I was informed that I have to go into a FNB branch to open an account. I am really at my wits end and just do not know what to do next .