FNB Broadway: Where Customers Need a Visa to Enter

Dear FNB, There’s an old saying, “Don’t advertise a 5-star meal when you’re serving slop to the ***s.” It seems your Broadway branch in KZN didn’t get the memo.

I walked in, looking like any respectable “Boetie farmer” should—khaki shorts, vellies, and a lekker Afrikaans accent to match. "Middag, hoe gaan dit?" Turns out, that was mistake number one. The reception I received? About as warm as a Durban winter.

Now, call me crazy, but I thought banks existed to, you know… bank? Not to interrogate customers at the entrance like border control. Before I could even kry my nommer, I was grilled like a well-done boerewors about why I was there and whether I had the right documents—before I was even let in! Imagine my surprise when the “ticket lady” decided she was the new Minister of Home Affairs.

After realizing I had better things to do than audition for access to my own bank, I took my R50,000 in cash, gave the staff one last smile (because manners, né?), and took a leisurely one-minute stroll to Nedbank. Fast forward a few minutes, and I had a brand-new account, my money safely deposited, a temporary card in hand, and even a sip of gloriously cold water from their water machine. Eish, dit was yskoud!

So FNB, a friendly tip: Speak to Balungile and her team. Seems like the real problem isn’t your customers, but the people you trust to welcome them.

You’re welcome.