At the end of my rope

I would like to understand how debitorders are allowed to go through my bank account 3 days before the agreed upon date for them to go through and when you try to stop them or dispute them you are not allowed to, and then you have to wait 24 hours for it to reflect, but it shows on the app and it put my account in the red plus I will most probably have to pay the penalty for insufficiant finds.... is it not my account and do i not have any control over it?? What is the point of the app and the notifications if you still have to wait 24 more hours.....I have banked with them for years, but i am sorry to say this, this is not acceptable, I had to put myself in debt councelling, that was embarrasing enough, everybody at some point in their lives goes through struggling times, I am stressed out and had to move my mother-in-law into my home to take care of her, so imagine getting a notification that your bank account is over R5000 in the red.....before your salary is even paid in. I don't get how they are allowed to do that.......and then it is impossible to cancel it. They even take my bankfees way before payday which also negatively affects my account......i am very confused, does the control over my bank account not belong to me? 🤷♂️😭😭😭 what do i do......i cannot take all this stress anymore.....i understand that insufficiant funds on payday is my fault, but taking it 3 days before payday and that after i am in debt councelling and they have negotiated and agreed on lower instalments.....nah, this is not right.