NOT so epic

After numerous attempts to contact Epic telepathically, I have had to resort to Hellopeter.com We purchased a tup of your fat spread, and a quarter way through, it started to get all mushy, and VERY watery. We started feeling ill (nauseous) when having sandwiches where we used the spread. I assume this must be a faulty batch. I need someone to come and collect this and have it tested, or I am going to have it done myself and will have to take this further. I am absolutely appalled at the fact that this is what epic is sending out to be sold.