Fly regrettor (not better)

Dear Emirates

Thank you for ruining half of my italian skiing adventure, you incosiderate unsympathetic asshole. After arriving at venice airport, I was very understanding of the fact that you forgot my luggage at dubai airport. These things happen, its not your fault, its some lazy imbisile baggage handler at Dubai's fault, isn't it? My understanding of the situation quickly turned to frustration as your "compensation" was just about enough to buy one half eaten sandwich and a used pair of socks in the Italian Dolomiti mountains, you low-life cheapskate. I admit, putting my wallet with my bank card in my checked luggage for fear of the italian *******s and mugsters wasnt a particularly intelligent move. But with only your excuse of a compensation and little emergency money packed in my carry on, I was confined to my hotel room with outside temperatures peaking at 1 degree celsius and no warm clothes wear. For three days I developed a serious case of Stockholm syndrome watching italian soap operas whilst I should have been having the time of my life skiing in the mountains. With ski passes and ski hire prebooked your little service **** cost me a fortune.

Upon arriving back at Venice airport a week later your greedy little customer service minions gave zero f#cks about what I went through. They gave me less than no service and actually laughed at my proposal to salvage some of my holiday by giving me an upgrade to business class as an apology for destroying half of my holiday. Customer services at Dubai did not even lift a finger to try and rectify the situation, they just waved me on and told me to hurry for my connecting flight (which was 5 hours later). And the Johannesburg staff didn't even know what service to a customer means.

So thank you once again for ruining my 1850 Euros holiday and doing nothing about it you ********, greedy, soul sucking, disaster of an airline.

Fly better? I think it should say: "fly regrettor".

Unkind regards, The most badly treated customer in the history of aviation