Nightmare and headaches - close my account!!

I have tried numerous times to close my account and STILL no luck. I have been in to stores, and they call whichever of the numbers for this option, and over an hour later, and still on hold. I have been given email addresses and we're looking at numerous emails and 7+ months later and still no response. I just want to close my account and want to know how the hell I'm supposed to do it.