In my 67 years I have not seen service as bad as this

I do not know where to start. My wallet was ****** Oct 17th . Cancelling the bank cards was a smooth proses, but then my nightmare started. The 18th the bank notified me that DSV will make contact with me to make the necessary arrangements for delivery the following day .The bank even included a JHB number for follow-up On the 20th, after hearing nothing from DSV I follow-up on the number provided .Needless to say DSV could not find my card whereas the bank confirmed that DSV received the card . The bank then agreed to issue a second card and confirmed that I would receive my card by the weekend On Monday the 24th I received a SMS from DSV confirming that the driver will make contact on the same day to make the delivery arrangements. Again no contact. Today I was rudely advised that delivery can only take place on the 31st . I will use DSV to deliver my death as I would be 299 years old before I would die. In my 67 years I have not seen service as bad as this . Please do not send your standard automated reply.