The Figuratively Exploding Tv Fiasco

<p>This is a ShoutOUT to Louis Meyer and Reinette Combrink. give them a raise and a week off. They're legends! If you don't believe me, read the novel below. If you just trust me that they are, then get off the net and go get them each a coffee and that raise I promised I'd get them.</p> <p><span style="color: #1***7d;">E</span>skom Power Surges flitter through the quiet home office. the lights flicker. His laptop doesn't notice because its running on battery. Sweat drips from his brow as he struggles to finish his report on time.&nbsp; cold coffee and a dead smoke, the grim reminder of his focus on the work at hand.<br /> Finally! Its done. Its sent.&nbsp; The report is what it is, and we can only wait on the reply... but for now... a little TLC<br /> Rising up like a lumbering troll who was trapped in a KinderSuprise for centuries, he saunters over to the Tv in anticipation of a little gaming, a little Warframe and happiness (PS4). <br /> A loud buzz is heard. but it comes on slowly.<br /> The Shock. the horror. the utter FML disbelief as his true companion; his idol; his stress releiver; blinks on and off and waves shudder in and out of reality across the screen.&nbsp; "Damn you Eskom" he mutters "you'll pay for this..." <br /> After the Tv is investigated and a full post mortem done online, as well as delving into the dark arts of the techmasters to try a necromancy spell; all those present concluded that his beloved TV, Gary, was dead. 40Inches of cold, dead, plastic and glass. ******ed by Eskom.<br /> Fare thee well Gary. fare thee&nbsp; well.<br /> <br /> I phoned my the******s. they were unavailable... all 5 of them went to voicemail. it was a weird coincidence. <br /> I started getting withdrawls. started getting itchy. I tried to switch on my psvita, but it wasn't the same. even if I held it reeeeeeaaaly close to my eyes, it wasn't a substitute for Gary the LED tv.<br /> So I phoned dial direct. they were nice to me. They understood.<br /> They knew how much I depended on killing other players online in order to relieve stress and be a productive memeber of society. and&nbsp; to watch documentaries. and the walking dead. and the flash. <br /> <br /> Dialdirect sent a guy out to check on the Tv formally known as Gary... we both confirmed it would be reckless to try raising the dead. Gary the Tv was wrapped in plastic and sent away. <br /> &nbsp;I kept myself busy for a week. It was difficult but I learnt how to peel potatoes and how to make blitzwine. <br /> After all the potatoes were peeled and both cats blind from getting into the distillery room one night I figured I'd waited long enough.&nbsp; I called Dial direct again.<br /> <br /> at First I dealt with a really cool lady, her name was Reinette Combrink. she apologised for the delay and explained that they were waiting on the report from the Tv Morgue, but also that that wasn't my problem and she'd sort me out instantly regardless of the report. She promised to mail me and call me back to discuss the possible replacement models. I was happy. I'd get a new Gary. We'd be able to play games and watch movies and laugh together once more.<br /> <br /> I waited: along time. I sat by my phone. it was on charge so I had to sit and wait. <br /> I wondered what happeded to Reinette Combrink. Were there more floods? maybe with crocodiles this time? could the dialdirect call centre be under attack from those guys from Avengers 2?&nbsp; I put my phone on stupidloud setting incase she called and went to bed.&nbsp; I dreamt of Gary. <br /> The next morning I called in again. This time i reached the Guardian. He was annoying... but polite. Didn't seem to really "get it" and was not really sure of what I'd been through or why it mattered. I wasn't going to get a Gary.&nbsp; I was going to get something close to Gary the TV but not what was needed. <br /> <br /> I explained to the Guardian that I needed Gary back so we could play all the things I'd bought for Gary. the Guardian was having none of it and the more I insisted, the more warts grew on his face (and he ****ed when he was irritable.)&nbsp; When I couldn't handle Warty the Guardian anymore I asked to speak to a manager.&nbsp; He tried to be clever and put me on hold for 10min. but the joke was on him. I waited. I listened to the OnHold music and doodled pictures of me and Gary frolicking through a field of daisy's. My co-workers say I shouldn't put my drawings up in the cubicles because they seem very unnerving but i like them.<br /> <br /> After 10minutes the Guardian came back and told me that old wives tale of all the managers being in a meeting and that its just tough luck. I'd have to take the Gary substitute. I new I needed to finish this journey or I'd never be able to face another wart covered Guardian again. <br /> Luckily, with a few words on a website we cant name, Dialdirect rep**** to me almost instantly and updated my facebook post with positivity and confidence.<br /> This made me happy and I waited for someone awesome sounding to contact me.<br /> &nbsp;<br /> It was about and hour later when Captain Awesome called me. He was like a breath of fresh, understanding and empathetic , air. He knew why I needed a Gary. Why I had so many things to plug into Gary and what our relationship was all about.<br /> This superhero's name was Louis Meyer. he was cool, he handled me well and while we talked I felt like he understood my needs and could make a difference to the situation. It was nice to talk to someone real.</p> <p>Today is a day later, and DialDirect have resolved the issue with flying colours.<br /> We've chatted back and forth, confirmed things both on the phone and via email.<br /> If only Louis and Reinette could train other people to be cool and listen and escalate properly, we'd have peace in all avenues of our lives. DialDirect Lives Matter. and these two are our spokespeople for the cause.<br /> <br /> as for the Guardian:</p> <p>&nbsp;<br /> jy! jou MA SE<br /> (user has reached maximum word limit )</p> <p>&nbsp;</p>